Elementor Page #850

“Unchecked Spirits Get Stronger” is a motto that was established during the pro-se process.  This logo and these words support the journey travelled while writing the book.  Below are a few examples of what is meant about spirits that needed to be checked throughout my journey. I believe many of us have to combat these, sometimes on a daily basis. 

The Spirit of Fear (internal within myself)

• Self-doubt.  So many times during this journey, there were internal pressures within myself encouraging me to quit. Even our loved ones who care of us don’t want to see us hurting and may encourage us to abandon a pursuit or calling we must do. There must be boundaries set up and these kinds of needed to be “checked” for me to be successful in completing the pro-se process.
• Defeat. After legal sessions with my previous employer such as depositions and interrogatories, I often came away thinking there was no hope. I started to question whether I should continue the process. There is a reference in the book “The You Are Gray Realization” on page 24 that describes the physical impact of feeling defeated. These thoughts needed to be “checked” if I were to be successful in completing the Pro-se process.
• Anxiety (Am I good enough). In preparing for my legal battle, I often had sleepless nights. When you are sleep-deprived, the brain cannot function in optimal capacity and you may have slow response or reaction time and even mood swings.  This was particularly dangerous during depositions because I was fatiqued in many ways. Many people do not know that I had a pscyhologist that I met with regularly during the 2 years I was going through the process of suing my previous employer. I had to have the wisdom that external professional support was needed and this is how I conquered this challenge and “checked” this thought.
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The Spirit of Fear (external, outside of myself)

• Anxiety (What’s going to happen).  As my book mentions, my previous employer took me to court 2 times to try and get the case dismissed.  Their plan was to cause me mental anguish and weaken my resolve to fight them; however, this plan backfired.  The first time I had to go to court, I couldn’t find parking, I couldn’t find the room, I arrived just in time for my court appearance and I won because the judge dismissed their motion!  What was meant for evil was used for good since it gave me more determination. The next appearance in court was the result of another attempt to have the case dismissed. This time, I was much more confident and won that challenge as well. If I won the first time, the odds were high that I could win again! The book refers to my previous employer giving me a back-handed compliment when they said my writings were too good to have been written by myself.  They were grasping at straws! The anxiety changed from me to them as they became desperate to try and get the case dismissed. 
• Isolation. Whenever there was a meeting with my previous employer, they had their attorneys (usually 2) and at least 3 people from the employer grimacing at me through the entire process. Physically, I was solo. This was an intimidation tactic that had to be recognized and defeated. Just because I was by myself in the physical, did not mean I was alone in the spiritual.  Remembering where my strength came from was how I survived. This is how I “checked” this thought.
• Fear of Failure/Despair. When we hear something over and over again, there is a tendency to start believing the statement (research the term “illusory truth effect”).  Even though I had written evidence, statements were being made about things not being true as though I didn’t know they were. So many times, I had to go back to emails and other documentation to reconfirm that I was not losing my mind. This was conquered by keeping a sound mind.  I was able to reference the written documentation and other tangible facts to remind myself what had been said by individuals in their own writing! This allowed me to “check” these thoughts.

 

The above are just a few examples of Unchecked Spirits Get Stronger. Other examples could include the Spirit of Pride (revenge, cruelty, arrogance); the Spirit of Death (thoughts of suicide, murder, abnormal grief) or the Spirit of Bondage or Addiction (drinking, drugs, gambling or any other ways to escape life).  The goal is for my readers to meditate and identify what are their Unchecked Spirits that are getting stronger and confront them, so they stop having power!